Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God. Ps 43:5
You look in the mirror, you’re brushing your teeth. Your eyes are pale; your mind is in some other distant place distracted by various grey clouds that are hanging intangibly out of reach. You deal with these problems the same way each day. You don’t know who you are anymore. You watch lots of television and surf the internet for things to entertain yourself. The cloudy days linger. You’re irritated and get angry at your family easily. You indulge your cravings for late night snacks and drinks that make you feel good. You find yourself thinking about someone more than you think about Jesus. You avoid your friends and yet deep down you hope they’ll reach out, but you never really want the help they have to offer. When night-time rolls around, you’re tired, yet you toss and turn most of the night. You come up with small reasons of why you don’t feel good anymore. You call it a “phase” or you point to the thing that is “just around the corner” that will solve your feeling blue. You try to excuse the problem, you try to pretend it’s not there. But you know deep down inside that you’ve got a problem with God. You know that you’ve got a real problem. You’ve got sin in your life.
“Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions. Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin. For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me. Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you are proved right when you speak and justified when you judge.” (Psalm 51:1-4)
However you might be dealing with the problem, the real problem is that you have sin in your life. Perhaps you have a whole laundry list of sin you need to deal with. You’ve been avoiding confessing that something that has been bothering you for a while. Perhaps you’re ashamed of some secret sin in your life. You haven’t been depending on God. You aren’t trusting God with your future. You’re not looking to Him for your fulfillment in life. Instead, you’ve been relying on yourself and various other things to make you “feel better”. You need to confess your sins to God. You need to fall on your knees and pray to Him. Do whatever it takes to spend some time alone with God. Go for a drive. Go for a long midnight walk. I find that I pray better when I go for a walk. Find that place in your home or out in nature and go there, sit alone, walk by yourself. Don’t bring music or anything or anyone else. Don’t be distracted. Just sit or walk or stand alone and pray. The next step is repentance, asking the Lord to forgive you. Ask Jesus to forgive you and make you clean. Think and pray, be honest, be willing to humble yourself and ask for forgiveness. Admit the wrongs and the areas you need His help. Tell Him what you really are wanting and what’s really bothering you. Just lay it out before Him. Be honest as David was, tell Jesus that you have sinned against Him and that you know He knows your sins. Admit your sins are a burden on your conscience and that your heart is troubled and that you need the Lord to help you. Ask Him for forgiveness. Tell Jesus you want to please Him.
“I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame. This poor man called, and the Lord heard him; he saved him out of all his troubles. The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him, and he delivers them. Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him. Fear the Lord, you his saints, for those who fear him lack nothing.” (Psalm 34:4-9)
It is amazing how even though circumstances might not change immediately, peace and joy come back to your heart once more when you petition God in prayer. Your shame gets washed away and God hears your cries for help. Your guilt has been dealt with through your confession, through your agreeing with God that your sin is really sin. He forgives you when you ask Him. The Lord protects and delivers those who fear Him and call upon His name. Therefore you have nothing to fear. What do you have to lose? You will lack nothing that you need when you seek Jesus.