What if this past year was just a year where God was making sure your heart was ready? I’m not talking so much about God testing you but preparing you. Even if you think you utterly failed in how you responded to this past year maybe God had used a season of waiting, mourning and praying to push you to your limit to make you more durable for the road ahead.
The flag bearer was near the head of the army, and the soldiers knew that if he was advancing, they should too, if he was retreating, they should retreat too. Because of this, the enemy would always target the guy with the flag. Because if the flag fell, the soldiers didn’t know which way to run, they would fall into confusion not knowing whether they were advancing or retreating. If you were the guy with the flag, you might as well have had a big huge red target on your jacket as everyone was gunning for you.
You look in the mirror, you’re brushing your teeth. Your eyes are pale; your mind is in some other distant place distracted by various grey clouds that are hanging intangibly out of reach. You deal with these problems the same way each day. You don’t know who you are anymore. The cloudy days linger. But you know deep down inside that you’ve got a problem with God. You know that you’ve got a real problem. You’ve got sin in your life.